Not Your Average Valentine's Day Speech for Singles

Hello, fellow singles. It’s that time of year again when all those who have found love (or what they think is love) go around buying each other things and posting sappy stuff on Instagram. So you’re probably expecting me to say something like “be confident in being single” or “God has the perfect one waiting for you.” Or maybe you think I’ll just reference 1 Corinthians 7 like every other single Christian. Those are all good things, but I have a slightly different message to all of those unhappy because they have yet to find a significant other: Stop whining.

Look, I get it. It feels nice to be wanted, and maybe you feel more than a little lonely when it seems that everyone else has found their special someone. But Valentine’s Day is not about you. It’s not a time to be bringing attention to yourself, not the time to go throwing a pity party, and not the time to have #SinglesAwarenessDay trending on social media. This day is not supposed to be about singles. Everyone struggles with this sometimes, and it’s fine to voice those struggles at any time of the year—except this time. I’m tired of all those Instagram posts feigning confidence in singleness when the user is clearly covering up a fierce jealousy of what they don’t have. When everyone else is rightfully celebrating the gift of companionship that God has given them, so many singles try to bring the attention on themselves with spiels about how Valentine’s makes them feel bad about themselves. If it makes you feel insecure, talk to someone about it. But don’t go raining on other’s parades just because you are jealous.

This day is meant to celebrate love and those who have found love. It’s a time to be happy; rejoice with your friends who got engaged. Be happy for your pal who got asked out for the first time. Smile when you see the creative ways your married friends celebrated each other. Days like this were not meant to marginalize anyone, but instead to celebrate those many people who have found what so many hearts desire. Stop being dramatic, stop sulking, stop whining. This day is meant to be a happy day.

Yes, the Bible tells us to weep with those who weep (and I am sure there are many singles who weep on Valentine’s), but it also commands us to rejoice with those who rejoice. So throw a party for the dating couples in your friend group. Tell your friends who are engaged how happy you are for them. If the only person you can think of is yourself when there is such a great opportunity to celebrate those around you, then maybe it is time to do some soul searching.

I understand that my generation knows nothing but instant gratification and attention-seeking through social media, but maybe that’s something we could work on this February. If you truly can’t find a way to celebrate those couples around you because you feel jealous, then maybe try distancing yourself from everyone while they rejoice in thankfulness to God for displaying His grace to them in such a way. Try turning off your phone and ignoring all the sappy posts and instead make a list of all the things that God has given you. Don’t define yourself by what you do not have; instead rejoice in what you have been blessed with. And then rejoice with those who rejoice.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not claim to reflect the opinions or views of the Defendant or its staff members.

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